Self-care is the art of nurturing your soul while the world tries to crush it. It’s the delicate balance between pampering yourself with bubble baths and facing the void within. We moisturize our skin to delay the inevitable decay, meditate to quiet the screaming existential dread, and take solo vacations to escape the prison of our daily lives. In the end, self-care is just a Band-Aid on the gaping wound of existence, a futile attempt to polish the brass on the Titanic of our mortality. But hey, at least we’ll go down with soft skin and a moment of zen.